Thursday, March 29, 2007

Advice Please! The Terribles Two's!

Can anybody tell me what to do with the worlds most defiant child. Ava is a sweet kid when she need to be but, when there is no need and there is nothing she want’s nice and sweet go out the window. Ava screams in my face and runs from me when she knows I can't go after her. She waits until I sit down to feed her brother to jump off of the stairs, run out the front door in to the street, mess her pants and pull food either out of the refrigerator or the trash. And this is just my morning.
Now, it 's time to eat so, Ava takes this time to make her biggest messes. Food on the floor, in her hair, on her clothes and then when she decides she is done the plate hit’s the floor. I have to laugh while inside I feel like I have lost complete control and if I don’t laugh I am going to have a break down. At times I feel like I am going to implode.
Now comes the worst part of the day……… bed time. Some nights I put Ava into bed nine or ten times. I have to be honest and say that her behavior impart is my fault. I will blame some on her age but, the biggest part of why she is the way she is, is the lack of communication and team work between my husband. I need help before it's to late and I can't repair the damage that has been done. I am so scared that she is going to get hurt.
Ava came into this world screaming her head off and had figured out defiance by the time she could crawl. I was worried that there was something wrong with my little girl because when you would talk to her she would close her eyes real tight, so I asked her doctor and she said, "No there is nothing medically wrong with her. The only thing wrong was that she doesn't want to listen to you. Plain and simple she is being defiant. Good luck with that one!" And those words are burned into my memory and I think that I should have sought out help then!
So dose anybody else think that this is a simple case of the terrible two’s or do I have a real problem any comment with helpful advice or just words of encouragement would be great thank for reading!


Becky O said...

I love you sissy

Allison said...

My DS (now 4) has always been spirited but I could channel it (usually with physical activity)! My DD (16 months) is an absolute demon. From the get-go, she has screamed instead of cried, still has not slept through the night and has always "pushed the barriers". Typically, my DS at this age was quite obedient and wanted to help DD will help out with certain things (like the dishwasher) but I don't know how many times I have told her not to climb in the dishwasher, go near the stove or throw any number of items on the floor (not only that, she has chewed the rubber off my stamps and inked herself more than once...the horror!). I used to think I was such a great mom because my DS generally did what he should especially when all his energy was DD proved to me that I have all new challenges to overcome!

Anyway, the only advice I can give is to hammer away at her behavior every time she does something wrong. My DD has been getting timeouts ever since she could walk. Of course, it is never a long period but it will give you a chance to catch your breath and her a chance to get distracted by her current "obsession". Plus, as much as I hate too, if either of my kids act out in public, I have to be willing to get up and leave immediately (whether it be dinner out [which really doesn't happen] or during grocery shopping). It may be extremely embarrassing for me but they have to learn that they will be taken out of the situation if they don't behave. My SIL regularly did this with her DS...she would sit outside the car and watch him while everyone stayed and enjoyed supper...ah, the joys of motherhood!

Keep your chin up!

Anonymous said...

Have you read Dr. James Dobson's The Strong-Willed Child? It will be a lifesaver for you. She's probably a very intelligent child, they seem to be the worst...they get bored easily. The best advice I can give (from a Mom with two adult kids) is distinguish between defiance and childish behavior. Then tackle the first head-on every time (don't give an inch, she'll take it and run) but let the latter go. Child training is most of all parent-training! :o) Best of luck to you both.